Catholic and Loving it!

Ella...

"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia', but only slightly less well known is this:"

Don't expect to get anything out of anything organised by the Diocese of Middlesbrough. Go for a laugh, go out of morbid curiosity, go out of necessity but never ever go because you are interested in the subject at hand and hope to get something out of it. If that is your goal, read a book.

That's not entirely fair of course. There have been good things organised by the diocese. The commisioning day for readers was really quite good and Caroline and Kit Dollard put together an excellent presentation where we learned things. Some of the talks organised by the adult formation department have been good too. I'm not saying you won't get anything out of anything , I'm saying "Don't expect to". The failure rate is too high. If you have a better offer, like archery or a tooth extraction, take the better offer.

It's simple. When the Pope teaches at the World Youth Days or in his Encyclicals or recent visit to France, he is attempting to spread the Gospel and bring the world closer to Christ. When the Bishop Drainey teaches the same is true, making it well worth a visit here and here. When Fr Massie teaches, this is also the case, though his homilies are not online.

The problem is, a significant portion of the clergy and laity of the Diocese of Middlesbrough have a deliberate agenda to turn the Church from Holy and Apostolic to Inclusive and Community Focused. So when you go to a large Diocesan event, you are playing Russian roulette. You might get somebody doing something excellent or you might get liberal relativist shite. You don't know until you get there and by then it's too late, which is why, as I say, if you have another offer you should take it.

Like many games of chance, however, there are ways to improve your chances. In this case, I think Ella could have avoided a wasted day simply by taking a glance at the leaflet.

This is the leaflet for the 'Inspirational Study Day' that Ella foolishly went along to. Ella, what were you thinking...

Let's look at this now...

"Ministers of Holy Communion"

When you read the phrase "Ministers of Holy Communion" alarm bells should be ringing. I know that in real life everybody uses phrases like this all the time, talking about 'eucharistic ministers' etc. This is not real life. This is a leaflet for a study day by people who are teaching, who are supposed to know what they are talking about.

"Inspirational Study Day"

Q: What's the difference between a 'Study Day' and an 'Inspirational Study Day'?
A: Lipstick.

Sexist jokes aside, beware of pronouns. A study day is a study day. An inspirational study day is something else. 'Inspirational' is liberal code for 'study free'. Studying involves notes and lectures and facts and memorising things. Stick the word 'Inspirational' in front and you can lose the notes and lectures and replace them with poems and nice stories about people's nephews.

The Speaker

If a big deal is made of who the speaker is, be suspicious. Personally, I've never heard of Mary Bernard Potter SP, but she's being billed like Bruce Willis. It's as if she is the main selling point of the day. An audience with Mary Bernard Potter.

I don't entirely understand why a nun from another diocese would be hand picked to run a study day for Extraordinary Ministers. Google tells me she co-authored some catechetical books. No doubt she's a minor celebrity among catechists. I've nothing against minor celebrities travelling the country giving talks, but they shouldn't do it under the guise of a diocesan study day.

Lest you think I am exaggerating the Potter-centric nature of the day, turn the page and look at the next part of the leaflet...

Wow. It's like a CV and it makes me wonder... Why so much information about the speaker and so little information (two titles) about the subject matter? That tells us something about where the priorities are. The very existence of this lady is clearly more important than the task at hand.

"Chaplain"

We read that Sister Mary "works as an Assistant RC Chaplain". Is that right now? Because in 'On Certain Questions on Collaboration of the Non-Ordained Faithful in the Sacred Ministry of Priest' it says:

It is unlawful for the non-ordained faithful to assume titles such as "pastor", "chaplain", "coordinator", " moderator" or other such similar titles which can confuse their role and that of the Pastor, who is always a Bishop or Priest.

Music

As part of this 'inspirational study day' there is a mass. Mass is good. The mass has music and you will of course remember the recent survey where people were asked "what is important about the mass" and only 29% said music.

Better devote an entire page to the music group then...

I'm not having a go at the musicians, Ella says they did a good job. My problem is with the mindset that says "I know, it's a study day, so clearly we need to publicise the credentials of the musicians at the mass".

Anyway... that's enough to be going on with. My point is this... It's glaringly obvious that this is not going to be a study day.

Ella should have known to go to Archery.